Mustard Seeds

Today felt like any other day in my dreary, boring life. I got up (unwillingly, I might add), went to work, and braced myself for another day of acting like I wanted to be there. My day started to brighten up a bit when my friend, Rachel, invited me to have MoJo ice cream after lunch. Now, this is not an unusual occurrence. It doesn't happen as often as I'd like, but Rachel and I have spent lunches together before. I'm just trying to illustrate that nothing was unusual about today. Is the point hitting home? To continue with the story, I actually wasn't psyched for ice cream, as the indulgence doesn't do much for my girlish figure, but I elected to go anyway to spend some time with my friend. Ice cream cups in hand, we sat at a table outside and chit-chatted. I don't remember when the exact turning point in the conversation was, but before I knew it, I was spilling my heart to poor Rachel and getting really emotional. I told her the things that were weighing on my heart, like the anger and frustration I feel about work, my lack of purpose and direction in life, and my resentment towards God. I should probably give you a little bit of background on Rachel, since you're probably wondering why on earth I would divulge such things to my coworker. Rachel is a strong Christian. She exudes everything that is righteous and good. When I think about how God would want his Christian followers to conduct themselves, I think about Rachel. She is my Christian role model. All of the characteristics I admire about Rachel did not fail when she was listening to my sob story today. She offered encouraging words, and of course stuck in a good word for God. I remember being a little bitter at God even after we got back to the office. "God, I guess we've established what Rachel's purpose here is, so what's mine?" I know somewhere in the Bible it talks about a mustard seed of faith. Unfortunately, I am too tired and lazy to look the verse up right now. Do you think that might have something to do with my relatively non-existent relationship with Christ?? Anyway, all I have right now is a little seed that I have to grow. The outlook isn't good; I've never gardened in my life.